Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
