3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
