I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
