My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
