Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
