He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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