If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
