the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
