i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
