it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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