looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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