he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
