i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
