By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
