I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
