I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
