Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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