my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
