I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
