Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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