Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
