Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I just shit out all my problems.
ok first of all what the fuck
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize