Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
