So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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