I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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