And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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