she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
