After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
