Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my poor anus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
