Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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