well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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