I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
