oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize