found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize