alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
These tits shall not be calmed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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