Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
