This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
