so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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