I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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