garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
