i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
