I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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