please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
