): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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