Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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