I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
