I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
