How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
