apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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