is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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