Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
