Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
