Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
