nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
