I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
