Define "chronic" masturbator.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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