i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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