i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize