I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
