i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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