I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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