Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
